2. Never pass up a chance to use a potty with walls. It's going to take you a minute to struggle your wet bottoms back up your sweaty rear power quadrant. The people you run with have camera phones.
3. Runner in the front clears the spiderwebs. Don't be a spider weenie. Take a turn in the front.
4. Enlarge the hole in the mouthpiece of your hydration pack or run the risk of developing buccal hypertrophy. If that's not a real term it should be.
6. Always slap horseflies to death. They deserve it.
7. Bring the stuff you've gotten in race packets and stored away for years. You'll eat a lot of things you don't think you like when you can't get to food. Suddenly a peanut butter lobster bar sounds pretty darn good!
9. Roots hate runners. They'll do anything to bring you down. Never take your eyes off of them!
10. Be careful where you sit. Stick, puuulllll, Stick, puuuullll, stick puuuulll. Gum, tree sap, mystery gunk- Your inner short liner can and will adhere to your leg and pull free with each step.
11. Be prepared to feed, water and possibly take home stray animals. Big, watery, lonely dog eyes are hard to resist. Bless your heart.
12. Trees look a lot alike. Create a better return navigation plan than tree memorization.
13. Things move in the woods. Offer it a peanut butter lobster bar and hope for the best.
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